The lie that is holding us back from being Remarkable

We need to stop waiting for the people “above “us to make change. We have been taught as the people that do the “menial” work that we do not have any agency for change, but that is so far from the truth.
We say we need a coach, a trainer, a mentor, a teacher, a boss, an assistant to make the change in our life that we want. We search for the affirmation of somebody else being present with us in our project or dream. At the root of this I believe is the desire to not be defined by what we do or what we have done. If somebody else is there, there is less chance of something going wrong, but more than that I believe internally we would be able to dismiss some of the responsibility onto another person if something were to go wrong.
We have become so accustomed to top down ways of management, leadership, coaching and so many more things. This is the trickle down growth method. The skills or experience of the older, higher up, more credentialed people would be able to assert their wisdom and it would build and grow people. This trickle down practice has been disproven time and time again whether it is economics or management styles, it does not work because it takes away autonomy. This is the freedom for you to be you as an individual and choose the path you want to take from your unique experiences and creative expression.
The easiest way to find evidence of this is in the work place just because of the multiplication of efficiency, productivity, and innovation. This is the same equation that we confront when we wait for change. In this is the belief that our autonomy is not enough. We think we need things like drive, focus, or vision to start moving the needle. We see change as a big picture, which it is, but it is a big picture vision with a small picture perspective. Essentially what I am getting too is that the only way change is going to happen is by taking one step and another step.
Practical small steps
Easy does it, I admit I have never been one to just jump in the pool. I am all about taking the steps, getting two steps in and then saying it is too cold and then saying screw it I am jumping. We often get frustrated when we do not make the progress like we see other people making. We would not get frustrated if we saw the struggles that other people had. I write and I create this website a little bit at a time. I have not gotten to where I am without showing up consistently.
Consistently showing up is the key. The one thing to get out of this article is SHOW UP. 10 minutes of writing, work on the website twice a week, water the tree daily; whatever it is we need to not only show up for ourselves but for others. I do not do this work to get myself somewhere, but I do this work to get other people places. We have been misguided by those above in positions of power. It is easy for them to say they are making change because they have all kinds of people below them doing work. We need to break through the perception that change happens from the top. Approval from a boss is not needed to make a change; you are competent, wise, creative, and intelligent. You are able to make a decision of a change that needs to take place. I am granting you this as somebody that has spent the majority of his life being timid. I did not feel I had a place, so I know what it feels like to be on the outside in the you do not matter land, but I am here to tell you that you are important, you are beautiful, and you are remarkable.
Please come make your mark!

Whatever it is you want to change let somebody in on it, ask them for feedback and then to hold you accountable. We need people that have our backs; learning to walk is not easy.
If you want your boss to treat you differently then ask somebody the best way to bring it up
If you want to start an organization ask somebody to sit with you and create a plan
If you want to start a diet then cut out one thing that you do not want to eat
If you want to start a big weight loss then go for a 15 minute walk
If you want to have a focused meditation then try it for 2 minutes
If you want to organize a rally around a cause then text a few friends and ask them to join
If you want to learn sign language start with the ABC’s
Small steps, then build momentum, build excitement. Passion does not happen right away and it does not come from people at the top giving it to us. We have to take a step and discover it
I believe you can make change, I believe you can create, I believe you are worth it
Be remarkable, leave your mark!

Start here and in the comments say what it is that you want to change

look good feel good. its time for you to shine

Look good, feel good
This is what I have been living by the past 9 months. I started fresh when I moved to a new city and there was a new found freedom in caring about my health. I started getting in a structured workout routine in the gym and entered the journey. A couple months into the journey I started eating Kael and all kinds of nutrients rich foods. This was a big step that was extraordinary for me.
A couple months later I started running and before I knew it I started calling myself a runner. I was setting new personal records in the gym and outside the gym.
Earlier in life exercising, more specifically lifting weights, helped me get out of a depression. I do not believe it was the ability to look at myself in the mirror and see results, but it was the act of putting my body in motion. The way to recover emotion is to put the body in motion. This is where the phrase look good feel good comes from. I found that exercising makes me feel good. There are times where I could not rely on exercising though and needed to have other things that helped me feel good. For most of my life I did not know what it was that helped me feel good. When I felt bad I turned to my sport of hockey to express the way I was feeling in life. For a long period this was the only thing that I knew that made me feel good, but I have discovered there are more.
I believe we need to know what makes us feel good and it can not be just one or two things, but there needs to be many. More precisely 25, but I understand if not that many can be named right away. Number a sheet of paper or a word document and make this list right now. Here is a template if you need one to get started


Ready set go!

We want to express the way we feel. A physical manifestation of what is going on inside. If we hold back what is happening inside then we do not feel natural, we do not feel authentic, we do not feel us. If we do not feel like we can be who we are freely then we will not feel good. There may be many road blocks and hurdles you have to get through to get to this point of the outward manifestation of who you are, but this activity of feeling good is one way. Connect with who you are and what you enjoy and figure out if these things you do really make you come alive. I have been able to come to a place recently that the emotions inside have become whole enough that my outward manifestation has been a constant smile. That feels good and it looks good. I know there are greater ways I can do good, but we can not do good if we first do not believe we are good.
Here is my example of things that make me feel good.
1 Exercise
2 Fishing
3 writing
4 running
5 cleaning
6Really loud music I enjoy
7 going for a walk
8 spending time at a coffee shop
9 reading
10 playing guitar
11 sitting outside
12 taking a long shower
13 helping someone through a tough circumstance
14 Getting lunch with a friend
15 Going to a conference
16 cleaning my room
17 sanding wood or polishing metal
18Giving a massage
19 Receiving a massage
20 Taking a train ride
21 Counseling
22 Making list
23 Dreaming and envisioning goals
24 making a healthy breakfast
25 sleeping

If you found this exercise helpful then share your top 5 of your list in the comments so we can learn to feel good
To learn more:
Emotional intelligence Daniel Goleman
Awaken the giant, Tony Robbins