We are taught as little kids that hide and seek is a great game to play as a pass time, but what I have realized is that we have internalized that game with who we are. we hide ourselves behind facets that detour the direct resemblance of our heart. we always hear about drugs and alcohol and even adultery as the go to things to describe this illusive behavior. in the beginning these things may be used in a manner to try to find out who we are. we hide behind many things in our pursuit to find out who we are. our societal and cultural norms have promoted us to hide in fashion, body image, career, luxury and many other things. for me it was my relationship status, acceptance by peers and maintaining my work levels to a standard that was made by others. this may not be too different from any other twenty something year old that is going through college, but that is just it. People see it as a small issue and it is not. when real authenticity of who we are is what we have wanted all along but we are not getting what we want and I will even argue need.
So how do we find real authenticity, well that has to come from relational experience, but first you have to be real with somebody else. As Cali Swag says in teach me how to dougie “you do you and imma do me,” so the question is left how are you going to do you. the real you the authentic you. for me I am writing this in hindsight so I can see what has helped me to see what had helped me worked towards being real and authentic.
1. See your heart
Our hearts are deceitful and misleading and knowing that about your own personal heart allows you to look at each particular situation from a place that requires you to look at your intentions and motives.
2. Having others around that see you for you
As I was sorting through this self-emergence I had a dear friend ask me important questions and challenging characteristics of my identity. sometimes it takes another person to realize who you truly are and they can help the process. relationships with other humans, and maybe some times dogs, can be a mirror that reflects back to us who we are and give us helpful insight
3. Attacking the lies
Finding objective truth is something hard to take on in this post, so I’ll save that one for a different time but there are lies that we believe that are not true. these lies trick us into believing that we are not worthy or that we are not valued so we try to make ourselves worth something. by creating that illusion of worthiness we create a mask that we hide behind and make that search for authenticity that much harder. It is much easier to be real when you know what is true about yourself.
4. View through the lens of brokenness
We as humans have a tendency to not look at our faults or downfalls which leads to the mindset that we are good and we start to believe that we are inherently good. in acknowledging our brokenness we are able to take the position of humility and see that our hearts are not as good as we think they are, but it starts with seeing ourselves as broken.
Being real and authentic is tough and is hard to do. I do not claim to know everything about it but I am here to share my experience as I continue to grow deeper in my authenticity. one thing that I do notice when I come into contact with authentic folks is that it seems they know something about themselves. I am not talking about that they are a good student or that they have memorized every lyric off the Beatles sergeant pepper album, but that they know they are loved. it’s not that I ask them if they know they are loved, but I can sense it in how free they are. They know what is true about themselves and they do not need to seek anymore. They know they are found.so I’ll leave you with a question what is holding you back from being authentic?
Remember: “be real, be real real”( unknown)