when a break goes to fast

in the past couple months I have taken a break from a few things in life that I was previously doing on a regular basis before. this is something I have tried to stay conscious about so that I do not lose track of the things that were once a consistent part of my life. these things were not particularly unhealthy or bad for me, but I lost track of their purpose and meaning. for me I noticed that by the enjoyment and fruit that was not taking place. the passion had dwindled and it was work to just keep the flame lit. there is a difference between enjoying your work and working for your enjoyment. often times I feel that we get caught up in the later in the name of enjoying what we do. often times when we are so caught up in the doing the work it just seems ordinary to us and we lose track of what excites us and why we are doing what we do
for me the first time I took an active approach to this was when I graduated from college. most of the people around me expected and encouraged me to go onto grad school soon after graduation. if they did not say it upfront then I would face the implications of the infamous question of what are you going to do after graduation. it took a while but I came to terms with saying I am not sure and I don’t know. my friend Philippe had helped me become comfortable with responding in these scenario’s, check his experience in saying i am not sure http://philippelazaro.com/2014/10/06/whatever-comes-next/#comments . saying I am not sure allowed me to take a break to not pressure myself into a decision that I was not ready to make. I was able to conclude that I desired a break and I had the privilege and ability to do just that for the next 6 months or so.
“we were on a break” the famous quote from ross and Rachel in the Friends sitcom when they took a “break “in their relationship. this cultural idea of what a break is something that we use as an easy way out when we are not sure what we want and we see another option, but don’t fully want to give up what we already have. essentially they want to eat their cake and have it too. don’t get me wrong I am all for breaks, after all I am here trying to convince you that they are good and should be a part of our lives, but need to be implemented in a purposeful and intentional way. as ross and Rachel figured out breaks are difficult because you still have a desire to do something, but there is something else pulling you another way. essentially this is a litmus test to test the strength of your original motives or desires, so I guess you can call it a fast.
Jesus fasted. if that was only enough motivation for us to join with him in the practice we would be able to see the power that comes with letting go of daily simple desires to reorient our heart, mind, soul, and strength. I think if we looked at a break like a fast then we would be able to life with much greater purpose and love for those around us. I will admit I suck at fasting, but it is something I want to start practicing. I am coming out of a break from writing as I am writing this. it started back in august and after a month and a half or so I started to ask myself why am I not writing anymore and I figured out it was because I did not know why I was writing, so consequently I realized it became about the act of doing it. I realized I lost track of the why so I lost track of the purpose and excitement of doing it. when I tried to write it felt more like work and I was guilting myself into doing it after a while just so I can do the act. Writing this I am trying to get back the desire and excitement. I guess you can say I am now in a fast because I am trying to reorient my desires to a joyful and loving place so that my writing can be a way of connecting instead of venting or blabbering. this is where the difficulty of fasting comes in because it takes mindfulness, dedication, and grace. remember it is ok to take a break they are refreshing and they allow you to check why you are doing what you are doing. if you need to reorient your heart, mind, soul, and strength then remember the power that fasting has. It allows us to see more clearly.

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