I am back for the first time.
While I did not anticipate taking a leave of absence from posting; some tough life circumstances and clarity of my vision for this blog drew me to stop posting for a while. It is the later one that really did it for me because I never really knew what direction I wanted to take the blog
Do I want to use it to journal life experiences, focus on personal and emotional restoration, did I want to focus on justice related topics, and did I want to post social commentary. I tried to make it so broad that I could do all of the above while sticking in the theme of restoring my vision.
What I did not get was that I was doing it for myself instead of doing it for the reader. Essentially I wanted to be heard. I felt I had poignant things to say and they needed to be said, but it was all for me.
I had always wanted to be a servant and serve the people I was writing too, but I ended up trying to serve too many people by making my topic to encompassing
It’s not that it was broad; it was that I was just trying to be everything to everyone instead of something to someone.
I wanted people to know I was there to serve them and that I could be anything to anyone by helping them have clarity through restoring their vision. This became self-fulfilling instead of other fulfilling and this is where things got messy, as they do in most cases of mixing self-fulfillment with acts of service.
Making new roots
So what did I do? I took a break, stepped away and figured out what I wanted, what my vision is, and then asked what I need to change to get there. The culmination of this brought upon some intense periods of self-analysis and self-discovery in adding to the foundation of the big question of who am I becoming. for me that is the big question that I want to continually make my returning point, so that my identity proceeds my work instead of my work proceeding my identity.
The other question that I asked that helped me start to move forward, was what can I offer right where I am. There were things that I aspired too and I was making those the place I was living from. I was living in the clouds dreaming instead of staying grounded with what I have. The skills and experiences from my past are very purposeful for the work I can do in the present. I know I am good at coaching, I ask good questions, I am a good listener, my heart for restoration and my inner desire to serve others showed me that I can be a life coach, a counselor, a journey helper, or an empowering servant.
In the spirit of the Alchemist, I knew these things of my past have led me to this place for me to take the next step. I had to come to believe that I could take action where I am at to see change though. It is said that if we are not growing then we are complacent and this leads to slow death. (Robert Quinn, Deep change) the thing that got in the way for me was trying to figure out a plan, but Quinn says that a leader does not always have a plan just a vision. I always had a vision, but felt I needed a plan. To be honest this was just fear, resistance, procrastination. It is said that the biggest contributor to procrastination is planning. I was afraid to take action, no matter how big of a bias I had. This is because I was living with my work preceding my identity. there is so much to go into on this topic and I will go in on it in a different post, but what I want us to know is that pursuing our vision, our desires, our dreams is much harder when we are defined by what we do and what we have done instead of by who we are.
Where do we go from here?
The same questions that I asked myself I will ask you; what do you want and who do you want to become. Those that have a special impact on the world have a bias towards action and their action is embedded in serving others. Connecting purpose and identity is easier for others and acting out of purpose and identity is even more rare. A question I wonder about is that if world changers study goal setting, vision making, action taking, and servant leadership, or do they just do it.
I would like us to be able to just take action. What change would you like to see in the world? What inspires you, what hurts you in your heart, what brings you life? This is what I want to help us figure out and take action towards. This is what restoring my vision is about. I want to lead you to the place for you to say I am restoring my vision because this journey is not just about me.
It is about the restoration of your passion to pursue your vision.
There is an email sign up area to subscribe if you would like to join with me in this journey of learning what it is like to restore your vision and be the change you want to see.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Deep Change by Robert E Quinn