My favorite question to ask myself and challenge others with is who are you becoming?
So who do you want to become? Sorry too soon…
A bit pretentious I realize, so let me back up a second and start with figuring out who you are. I am going to enter into unpaved territory. This is not a common path to take, an adventure that does not get taken too often, and a territory that only a few value to venture into. This is my call into the wild discovery of who we are. It is found each step further into the forest as the tree’s get thicker and thicker.
The reason I say this question is a bit pretentious is because asking who you are and experiencing who you are tend to be very different. Not only because the way we are perceived by others is different than how we view ourselves, but because who we are is still yet to be discovered. To assume that you know who you are is quite presumptive. Not only does it take extended effort to step into self-discovery, but it takes a step into the unknown. This is scary territory. Few dare to venture to this land. This is like the big Rottweiler that looks scary but you make friends by offering a treat and you find out she is just a big teddy bear that wants love.
Why are we so scared of ourselves
Somebody once said the only thing I fear is fear itself. Discovering who we are is a big responsibility because when we find out who we are then we actually have to act from that place; that is if we want to have integrity. We are not held back because we fear pain but we are held back because the fear of having to take action. Granted we get caught up in seemingly more important immediate things, but I find nothing more important than knowing who you are. It helps to have somebody affirm a character trait, believe in us, walk with us in this journey, and be there to catch us when we fall. This is not realistic for all of us and if we wait for this it will not only disappoint with procrastination, but it will perpetuate a victim mentality of reminding us of what we do not have. The reality is that self-discovery is here and it is available now, and it is quite easy if you give it persistent attention.
I believe we all want to know who we are; some of us just settle on something sooner than others.
Easy come easy go are you able to say no
When we say no we are making a decision, a boundary, and a declaration of who we are and what we value. Saying no is saying that I am not going to go along with the status quo; I am going to stand for what I want to be known for. Do not stand for what you believe in; stand for what you want to be known for. This question begs the question of who do you want to become, but we will get to that one later. right now we want to know who you are and how you can discover what it is that makes you, you.
There is no way possible to find out who you are without either stepping into the past or stepping into the future. Since we are going to talk about who we want to become later let’s talk about what has shaped us into who we are. It is said we are the person of the 5 people we spend the most time with. As somebody that does not believe in black or white thinking, there are definitely more things that shape us, for instance negative memories as well as positive memories. What I want us to be able to reflect on is the voice that we sometimes hear or the ways we think we are being perceived by our actions. What identity do we take up?
The exercise that I take people through in this introduction to self-discovery is quite simple, but helpful for us to think through before we move onto the next step. This is part 1 of 3 on self-discovery.
I want you to pause, be present and take 2 minutes of your time and write down who you are by simply saying…
I am Matt Lowe
I am 26
I am a son and a brother
I am thoughtful
I am scared of disappointing people
I am worried if my lips are soft
I am ready for kids
I am timid when approaching women
Now your turn
Go ahead, Fill a piece of paper.
Say who you are, it is just you. I want us to be comfortable being us. It often is uncomfortable seeing who we are. It is quite vulnerable and can be scary to be honest with ourselves this much. Some of the things could not even be fully true but they are still an aspect of you in your life. When you think of who you are, what do you identify with and what comes up.
If you are comfortable sharing who you are in the comments, I have found it to be a very powerful thing to share who we are.
I want to remind you that this is part 1 of 3, so these things that you identify and see yourself as will not be what identify you. . We will be diving deeper and more intently in seeing how we can change who we are and get past limiting beliefs.
Peace to you and be present with yourself and with others
If you would like to read more, here is an article that guided me in self-discovery