be real, be real son
about a year ago I wrote on this phrase and what it meant to be real. my goal was to encourage others to be real in efforts to try to build authenticity. I felt it was Ernest and honest, but what I have now realized is that my efforts were outward focused instead of focusing inward where the real value in transformation is. I have come to believe strongly that we must have inward transformation before transformation takes place outwardly. integrity must take place inwardly before it can be seen outwardly” Peter Scazzero
being real is not something that we should put priority on in expressing outwardly unless first we have been real with ourselves. there is a difference between processing authentically and putting on a front when expressing yourself. one comes from a place of saying I am unsure what is happening and I am still trying to figure it out and the other comes from a place of I got this I know who I am. don’t get me wrong it is great if you know who you are and you have the freedom to express that, but make sure it is authentic because if it is not then it can be noticed from a mile away.
I have realized that I thought I knew who I was but I was not really living as that person. this can get really confusing , so I will make it simple. I thought and believed I was a beloved child of god, but my real beliefs about myself were what I was living in. I guess you can say it was a convergence of walking the walk and talking the talk. authenticity was not what I was living in. I was trying, aiming, and saying I was this particular identity but that really was not me because it had not taken place inwardly. it was just something that I understood and wanted to try to live outwardly.
I think it would be valuable to share what I have learned, so here are 5 things to help us be real in an authentic way.
1 acknowledge your feelings and emotions. you were created with these for a reason so the more we ignore them the more we cover up who we really are. The more we dive into them the easier it will be to connect with the place of peace and joy
2 observe your feelings and emotions. this one is similar to the previous but a little bit different because observing means there is no judgement or action taken. it just looks like, hmm that’s interesting I am reacting that way
3 ask why. this is so uncomfortable, but so necessary. why am I feeling this way why are these emotions being stirred what is causing this reaction; are all healthy responses. Emotions can not be separated from your spirit and if you let them they will let you back to your creator.
4 dive into your past. our past defines us in so many ways and often it is the hurt and pain that are used to shape us. The goal is to understand the hurt and the painful experiences and come to terms with them, so that we can accept what has happened to us, who we are and who we can become. This is the essential part because this is the part that will allow us to flourish into our true identity, the beloved child, the sis our authentic self.
5 ask others what they observe and what they think. it is said we are our own worst critique, so let’s allow others to help us with some helpful observations of how you could love yourself better and love others better and become more authentic.
the season of life I am in right now has me in a difficult and grueling time. I have been humbled by it and been shown the hardness of my heart and the poverty of my spirit. I want the foundation of my life built on truth found in love, but that is not easy, in fact I was told there will be much suffering. I was walking by what sounded good for the longest time and if you are walking blindly that is a recipe for disaster, so, now, I am trying to blindly walk with faith.