Appreciate don’t compare

A while ago I was talking to a friend and he was giving me some advice about an unhealthy pattern I was noticing about myself. I was telling him how I was comparing other girls to my girlfriend at the time. this was something I know I did not want and I noticed it was making me feel less excited and appreciative of my relationship and my friend Jordan said “comparison is a joy killer”, his last name is Marshall if you want to quote him. of course this was not all he said, but this was something that really resonated with me because I really felt I was not enjoying my relationship with my girlfriend because I was comparing her to other girls.

that great lesson in comparison being a joy killer has stuck with me to this day as something I try to live out in my life. this recently has gone full circle with me because I have experienced a hand full of times somebody comparing me to somebody else right in front of me to other people. I don’t believe the intentions are negative at all but each time it happens, in my head, I take a step bac and say really!!! I do this because I do not see the resemblance and I wonder to myself what does this person see in me that makes me like that person. if I were honest I am more worried about what idea that other person is getting about me from this comparison that I am about the actual comparison. comparisons make you think because they are a form of a metaphor. if I were to put the comparison aside I would be able to see that that there is a compliment trying to be distributed. the comparison is not allowing me to see the compliment and thus is taking the joy that could be experienced from the compliment.

I personally am horrible at not participating in comparison. I would argue that I am one of the worst contributors. most of my comparison is inward based meaning that I compare myself to others. I think this is detrimental to how I find satisfaction in life. if I am always trying to measure up to somebody else’s unspoken standard then I will just continue to reach for something that is perpetually unfulfilling. one of the closest people to Jesus noted that he said come to me and I will give your life and I will give it abundantly. I take this to mean that if you find your life your identity your fulfillment in Jesus and not the world then you will have life and an abundant source of it, which I take to mean an endless amount of joy. this is unlike my state I was in when I received the wisdom from Jordan because there was a condition I was internally putting on my girlfriend to meet and when it was not met I appreciated others instead of her. I remember when I was a young lad I would compare myself to my friends after Christmas to see who got the most, biggest, coolest, expensive gifts and I would think their parents were cooler than mine . the appreciation was short lived but it took from the appreciation that I should have had towards my parents and the joy of their selfless giving provided. not only is comparison a joy killer, but it is an gratitude killer. there is a reason folks that are more grateful are more joyful. to turn back to Jesus I think he provides a way for us to be filled with the joy daily and guess what it is through appreciation. Jesus said to be thankful for your daily bread. if we are thankful for our basic necessities in front of us then everything else will just be an overflow. that overflow is the joy. when we compare we don’t feel like we have enough and we are void of the joy that the overflow provides. this is still something I am working on and I would like to ask if you would like to join me in being more grateful. to appreciate ourselves, what we have, what we have done, who we are, others around us, challenging times, and our enemies. the life we have been given needs to be cherished, so join with me in seeking the abundant life. there is nothing to compare to the greatness of the little taste I have had of the abundant life, and I am choosing to seek more joy in my life. remember “comparison is a joy killer” Jordan Marshall.