A better way to answer the “what do you do” question

What do you do?
I have a ranty confession. Every time I hear this question I cringe and every time I get asked this question I avoid answering in the way they expect it to be answered. The reason I do not like the question is because it defines us by what we do instead of who we are. Most of the time this question gets asked when you first meet somebody and a label is automatically established. The label says if you have made it, if you have prestige, if you are a hard worker, if you are respectable, and it represents your importance; all based on what you do.
This question drains me to ask and it kills me to answer. The conclusion is made of what is important to us by what we do for work and that is such a small part of who we are. We have gotten so good at manipulating this so we seem important by coming up with fancy sounding titles that are just elaborate words that have fake prestige to them. I understand employers want their employees to have importance in their title and to have professionalism, but some titles these days are getting out of control and you have not made it unless your name includes an abbreviation or acronym.
Making lemonade with lemons
We can try as hard as we can to avoid and change the environment that this question is asked, but we will have to face it. I have accepted this and believe it or not I have a way that we can use this question to create a powerful impact. It does take some creative action, but it will be powerful.
For me, I would tell people I am a writer and life coach, some of the time I would get that is nice with the possibility of a follow up question about what I write about since writers are always writing something interesting. Things changed when I started to tell people I help champions become champions. I have not changed what I do, but I changed how I portray myself. The first is bland and boring and the second is helpful and transformational. People love people that serve to help others and it is a powerful bonus when they hear the transformation of somebody becoming a champion. To be honest, I took this from somebody, but it is something worth sharing and using because it works in a powerful way.

How it works
The problem at the beginning was that I did not like how our work defined who we are and the figure out who somebody is we use the question what do you do. It puts the emphasis of identity on what you do and have done instead of who you are. When you hear I help champions become champions, you hear somebody being helpful, believing the best of others, somebody that believes in transformation, and somebody that is in the service of making change. When I say this it shows that I believe I have purpose and it shows that I believe others have purpose. It puts emphasis on who I am instead of what I do.
This is hard work to figure out because it takes a little soul searching and step outside of the status quo, but that is the responsibility of being creative. Fortunately it comes easier than you think. Here are a few questions for you to figure out how you can be more powerful in what you do.
1 I help blank
2so blank
3 can do blank

This is just a suggested path, as you notice the example I gave of “I help champions become champions does” does not have the words so or can. It has an action, it has a person, and it has a transformation.
Examples of this can look anything like the ones below
I care for new moms getting through the stresses of the infant phase.
I watch over the trends of sales to enhance the potential of sales in our company
I lead a team of engineers to create innovative products to make medical procedures more safe.
I train and invest in employees to be effective and purposeful in the work place to maximize their potential.
These are much more powerful than the alternative responses to
Answering the do you do question in this way is much more powerful than saying I am a…
Pediatrician
Sales analyst
Bio engineer
Or
Human resources.

In the comments give me your most powerful response to what do you do.
Show me that we can transform the way we answer this question
If you want to know more about this transformative process send me an email at restoringmyvision@gmail.com and I can give you a call to help you have a more powerful impact.
We can set up a free 30 minute consultation to see what it is that is holding you back from becoming who you want to be and being who you want to become
In the comments give me a powerful example of what you would say to the question
What do you do, so you show you have purpose and meaning?

Opportunity is freedom part 2: how can we be agents of opportunity

last week I introduced this great idea that “opportunity is freedom”, I shared how I came to understand that, but maybe it did not seem practical or something that you could grasp in your life. just to make one thing clear, opportunity can not be taken unless it is there. opportunity is not something that is organic and self-reproducing, but takes something to partner with so it can be distributed.
opportunity can present itself in face of opposition because you then have the opportunity to rebut and speak your side. the opportunity is to share your side of the story with somebody that has a shared interest even if the interest is not of the same side. for many of the people that have fought for their freedom this is how their opportunity was delivered. for slaves the cotton gin was an item of opposition so they took the opportunity to break the gin or alter the production method so that they could find freedom from the opposing side.
it seems that opportunity automatically implies that there is choice involved. I am sure if the root of the word was defined it would explain that a little better.

invitation is my favorite way to see opportunity to take flight. I believe this is the most powerful because it takes the work of two people. the provider of the invitation and the receiver. the thing about opportunity is that you do not have to be looking for opportunity for it to appear. not matter if you are looking for it or not it will still be just as powerful. when you are invited to be a part of something whether it be an event or an action you are being opened to a door. For my friend Joe he realized this when he had gone to a church for 15 years and they had never invited him to serve inn the church and when he faithfully decided to transfer to another church he was invited to serve and be a part of something bigger than just himself. This opened him up to a platform that allowed him to find freedom doing something that made him come alive.

providing opportunity for those who have experienced rejection can be as simple as allowing their voice to be heard. that they have wants and longings that are important and they are not being met. this type of empowerment, freedom, and love is not often achieved because it takes somebody looking beyond themselves. like my friend Chris from my last post, he looked into a situation that somebody else had and thought how could that be difficult for that person. most often we do not know the difficulty and, so we ask and make it possible for the minimized voice to be heard. this is bringing justice to the unjust. even those who commit an injustice were a victim at one time. it is unjust to not let a voice be heard and I have heard this from so many people including myself that we feel our voices do not matter. I want to tell you that your voice does matter and your voice is beautiful. if there is an opportunity around you I will kindly ask you to speak. I can not be a voice for the voiceless because I do not know your experience. for those with a voice lets be freedom makers and provide opportunities for voices to be heard.

opportunity is not always free, it can be earn. earning an opportunity is the next most empowering way to provide freedom. it is said that you appreciate something much more if you pay for it instead of it being given to you. time and effort are cost and a payment for what will be provided later. when you work hard in the present it sets up for the future. that opportunity that is being open up in the future is because you have earned it from the present. the trick is to not make this an idol, but a blessing. we are taught responsibility in our youth, but unfortunately that responsibility is mainly just for our own belongings. when we show that we can bless others with what we earn is the point that our opportunity becomes a path for freedom.

freedom is a struggle. when people complain about that strug life they are complain about their lack of freedom. freedom is a serious thing and many if not all of us in this world have been stripped of some kind of freedom. freedom is something we all should fight for and opportunity is something that we should all give and provide. for those that are oppressed and have burdens put upon them opportunity to be seen, to be heard, to be listened too, and to be given responsibility can be the most rewarding and empowering thing for us to enable. we all have agency, so let’s be an agent of love because that is where freedom will be found. Jesus did it by inviting people to the kingdom of heaven and I am pretty dang sure that there is all kinds of freedom in that kingdom. let’s follow him, be kingdom people, and be agents of bringing hheaven to earth.

opportunity is freedom: how being blind led me to a path of freedom

recently I have been letting some friends in on a struggle I face by not being able to see. For those of you reading this with vision which will probably be most of you I suggest that you look at this post as a metaphor because there are other things that disable us from seeing other than the malfunction of the eye balls on each side of your nose.

To get the most out of this post I would suggest to think about how you may be blind. It could come in the form of an addiction, codependency, unhealthy emotions, fear, denial, guilt, or just plainly not able to see love.

now back to what I was telling my friends.. I have been expressing the difficulty I have finding a girl and friends. I would like to think it is not because I smell funny or dress weird, I have been working on both, but it is because I can not see them. like practically can not see what a girl looks like or see if there is somebody standing by themselves to go talk too. I don’t have that ability to use that first impression of my eyes to decide whether a person is in the vicinity that I want to talk to.
Telling my friends was a big step for me because I tend to want to be perceived and treated as a sighted person. I am sure it does not take a specialist to label this as denial, so yay me I accepted I need help.

I jokingly say to my friends I need a wingman. you know to tell me if the girl next to me is cute and not married or if there is a friend around that I know. After kidding about it enough I realized it is a serious need to have somebody by your side. if you are keeping up with the metaphor in your own situation I would like to ask you what would you like your wingman to support you in?

now going back to the frustration I observed when I think about finding a special someone. It is often frustrating because first off I can not use my first instincts from sight to tell how old the person might be, then on top of that I can not tell if they are somebody I am physically attracted too, then on top of that I can tell if they have a ring on their finger or if they are with somebody. a couple of times after I had finished sorting through my feelings I realized that I try to make myself feel better by saying this is going to take an act of god to find somebody to be with or to find new people to meet. just recently I realized; of course dummy it has to be the will of god for it to happen. “All good and perfect things come from your heavenly father”, somewhere in scripture. The will of god I would presume leads to freedom.

I have been sitting on this for a few weeks and something finally clicked with me on this idea and I think it speaks volume’s to the freedom that is found in connecting with the father as his beloved child. This fantastic idea is that opportunity is freedom. unfortunately I can not take full credit for this because it was my friend Chris Ward that helped me see that this is often what we are missing. this is what I was missing from the story above and what keeps many of us entrapped in a struggle. opportunity is invitation, it is a step of courage, it is putting fear aside. This is why AA is so successful and a wingman leads to more adequate attempts to find Miss or Mr. Right. When we have somebody to walk with us and to relate with us opportunity comes much easier. When we see options, when we feel empowered, when we have somebody that has our back failure or succession’ we come to find freedom. the way Chris did this was by asking me how as a friend he could come alongside me and support me as somebody that does not see well. he not only did that but he asked me how my friends in the past had done it and what I would like in the future. This is an important thing to keep in mind when approaching somebody to support them because you do not know what they want or need, but are just somebody that is facilitating an opportunity and to do that you need to truly know the person. There is a big difference between saying I am going to go bless that person and I want to know how I can bless that person. One comes with a savior complex and the other comes with humility.

I would say that the common idea is that freedom comes from choice, but I do not think that is all of it. there is something more than just choice. There is invitation, there is opportunity, there is acceptance. When opportunity is provided either divinely or intrapersonally we are able to return to our created state and that is freeing.

How can you provide opportunity for somebody?