Freely asking: how asking questions allows you to dive deeper

so you know how Jesus talks about the new life that we are born into when we return to him as his beloved child, you know that born again term that gets used with people that accept Jesus as their lord and savior, ya that one that means put on your new life and put aside our old ways. well I think that gets thrown out the door very quickly for most people that enter into the Christian walk because we get caught up in the confusing question of how much do we let go of our past. I think most will agree we are not to throw the baby out with the bath water, but what is the mark of what we have to loose. again I think most will agree this is something that it is a process, a journey, a path to be traveled. as much as I don’t like the born again terminology I think it illustrates the journey quiet well, so good job Jesus for giving us that illustration. the new life is marked by growth and that is reflected in the character that is produced, which often is defined by the nutrients that are needed for the new born to grow.
sometimes you just want to throw your hands up when life gets confusing. what I learned is that the old life new life paradigm takes just that. it takes the comfort of being confused not having control and just continuing to walk. it is anew time to trust, but that can be hard when you can not see a rhyme or reason for why things happen. luckily on my journey I was able to make sense with the big life changing things that happened in my life early on like my sister’s brain tumor and losing my sight. but what about those things that don’t make sense like the ending of a relationship or an involuntary traumatic accident. those are the things we throw our hands up at because we can not make sense of the pain. this often results in people separating themselves from god, faith, hope, and our closest peers. there are many feelings and emotions that can explain this cause and one of the things that I have come up with recently is that we fear asking questions.
questions show humility. questions are great they show wonder, creativity, thoughtfulness, curiosity, and many other ways to tap into the mindfulness of adventure. whether it is faith like Christianity or a troubled relationship with somebody close to you, I have concluded that we often fear asking questions. some are the abusive reason of somebody telling you that you should not or are not supposed to ask questions, but I think more often it is a fear of the unknown. not knowing what is on the other side of the door often keeps us from opening and engaging with what is on the other side of the door. whether it is god or a new food that you do not want to try. in the evangelical Christian circle the question what if Jesus actually died on the cross and rose again is often used to challenge and think about how our life reflects the implications of the question. when we face implications then we have responsibility and a choice to make. that is why wonder is so great because it challenges us refines and defines us. we think of possibilities, desires, values, and love when we have the freedom to wonder and ask questions. I believe that this is one of the things that Jesus was alluding to when he was talking about having childlike faith. children are some of the best wondrous creative minds and they ask questions so freely. I was having dinner with a friend and his family not too long ago and his 4 year old daughter asked him when are you going to die. to us that is a taboo question or a question that does not get asked or discussed because it has definite implications on our life and how we live, but we often do not ask those kind of questions because we don’t feel like we have the freedom to do so. I would encourage you to ask yourself what it means to be born again and this does not have to be in the cliché Christian sense , but what does it mean for you to be like a child and to wonder, to ask questions and to be free. It is perfectly normal to ask questions and it is perfectly normal to not have the answers to every question. so go ahead and ask what if…
to continue to wonder is one of the greatest joys of life what kind of questions do you have? go ahead and ask them, its ok. there are no stupid questions, but there are smart question askers. one of them is empowering, which one are you going to be?
go ahead and tell me which one and why you chose it. while you are at it tell me what questions you have

changing the culture of asking questions: the importance of asking important questions

What if we did not need taboo anymore? What if we were able to talk about the important things with anybody? A scenario that I am imagining is you are out shopping and you run into a friend that you have not seen for a few months and instead of doing the standard how are you what have you been up to and all the other small talk tools, we ask how is your hope or what are you worshipping. Both sets of questions are essentially asking the same thing is your quality of life doing and is it satisfactory enough and how are you spending your time and your resources. How often do we tell people how we are really doing and how often do we really tell people what we have been doing? I would say not too often. What holds us back from saying what we really want in both the question and response?

How are you loving people?
Questions not only have the ability for you the recipient of the answer to be enlightened, but it gives the opportunity to the other person to let you in and to connect. A question is a proposal and it gives the other person the opportunity to engage. We can not engage much if we do not have much to engage too so asking the standard how are you and giving the automatic response of good or alright then there is not much to engage too. If you asked a question with some penetration to it then the ability to connect would be much greater. It may be uncomfortable and it may take some boldness at first, but those are not things to hide behind. We have the freedom to express how we feel and if it makes somebody uncomfortable they have the freedom to express that to you. asking questions is not only allows feedback to be given to the person asking the question but it is feedback to yourself and how you feel when something is asked. You learn about your feelings and how to express them, which is something that we all can continually be improving on.

Switching the culture of asking questions
Often we do not ask what we really want to ask because we are afraid of imposing or being to upfront. What I see behind this is fear. I recently spent some time in a completely different culture and one of the things that I was challenged with was the ability to just ask for something. I already have a tendency to be timid so the encouragement to ask for whatever I wanted was challenging for me. the sentiment I was told was if you have a desire or need we want to be able to meet it. so asking a question is opening the door for people to enter inn and care for you. when we ask a question we are saying I have a need and I am looking to engage with you. fortunately for us humans we all have an innate feature of desiring to connect with something and asking questions gives us that ability.

A restored utopia of question asking
I am not promoting sticking your finger in somebody else’s wounds by asking sensitive questions or inviting yourself into personal topics like sexual history, but what I am promoting is the opportunity to ask questions that are life giving and give us the ability to bond in the ways we long for. I understand we have topics that are taboo to talk about like politics, religion, war, communism, oppression, child rearing, god, colonialism and so on. Many of these are controversial issues mainly due to the differing perspectives of which they are viewed, but I am here to say those should not get in our way of asking questions. if we were to ask people what are you worshipping we would have a better understand of gods in our world, if we asked people how are you loving people we would have a better account of generosity and charity, if we ask how is your hope we would be able to focus on joy and peace more often, if we were to ask how are you caring for your community then we could understand the politics of the people and speak with a greater voice. See it is all about what we are asking and what we are willing to ask. Asking a question shows we are willing to widen our understanding, to learn, to engage, to connect, and to care. if you think this life has meaning and purpose then lets engage with others in it and a great way to start is by asking questions.
starting 7 months ago at the beginning of January I started writing down a question a day. This was to not only to take note of my wondrous mind, but to note thoughtful questions to engage with others in that I don’t think should go to waste. We are creatures with great minds, we think in great complex ways, we are thoughtful, we wonder, so let’s share that. What are 3 questions that you would like to normalize in your question asking utopia?
Mine are: 1 what are you worshipping? 2 how is your hope doing? 3 how are you loving?

Let’s be question askers.